I had no idea what to write about today. But while I was coming back home... a question rised in my head and it's like...I wanna ask everybody about this..when did say "Thank you" with all your heart? Cause.. we all say thank you when someone gives us a pen or...a beer or... small things. But when did you thanked someone just because he's there for you, because he exists, because he gave you a smile or because he told you "hi". Sometimes... you just have to say "thank you" or to offer a lovely look, and you will receive back 100 times more.
Being nice..doesn't cost a thing. Spread the love everywhere and to everybody... it's so easy. I would love to see sad people who have really big problems..smiling just because they see happiness in the world... just try to be better and everyone will try to be as better as you.

I have this feeling like...something very bad is going to happen. But it's just me like always... today I am going to talk about... I have no idea..lemme think.
5 minutes
7 minutes
10 minutes
....

I don't know that's why you guys[cause I know everyone's reading my blog...haha gotcha] are going to tell me a/more subject/s for tomorrow. I want at leeeasst 10 ideas.
You can say... global warming, sex, school, history[kidding]..love, cars... everything. I just want ideas ok?
See ya tomorrow and I want your suggestions!

*hugs*

I just don't feel like talking about something but I have a few bla blas for today. I got a 5...at the History predictive test. I thought I'll get a 3..wow. And a 9 at Englisht..bullshit I can do better but whatever.

I HATE how this week started. Yeh yeh.

Si ma ploua. Ma ploua pe aripi. Tu nu vezi...esti departe. Si ploaia, tot cade. Tot pe aripi. Si le topeste... nu sunt de ceara. Sunt aripi... de speranta. Si ploua... cu iluzii. Si cu dragoste. Ce cocktail letal.
Tocmai cand reusisem sa ma ridic. Cu aripile alea firave, de speranta. Si acum... cad. Lin. Dansand. Si vandul imi potoleste arsurile. Si cad. Alunec. Ma ustura locul unde aveam aripi... ma ustura.
Si inca mai ploua... si eu inca imi mai balansez sufletul in aer.
Mainile, reci, arzator de reci. Ma ard... nu doar in locul aripilor. Dar imi place... sunt ale tale. Ce cocktail letal. Ma odihnesc, in flacari. Fulgi din aripi cad peste noi.

Si ploua... incet.

My mom met my formmaster. How horrible can be that? H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E.

I am so...so...empty. I am sorry. I seem happy, and I feel happy with my body, but my heart? Nobody cares about it.
2nd week of school. I feel like 3 months passed.
My mind is tired, my soul, my feelings... I need that "I will be here" security from *you* again.



...I am just such a looser... I can't be strong for at least 3 days...

Animals, music, technology, TV, school, pain, love, friends, teachers... every day life... everything that surrounds us means less or more inspiration for the things we do. I am not talking just about photography, painting, singing, composing songs or poems...I am talking about inspiration in general. A half from the people I know has a "big" inspiration in life, a person or a group..or a thing very important for them. But wha the ... happenes when something works wrong with the "inspiration"? You feel bad, you feel like nothing works anymore, like everything you did and you're going to do has no sense. You think that you can't go on if you don't have your "before" inspiration... you can't "produce" something new. Let's say that we refer to music. Let's say that I compose music. And my biggest inspiration is pff..let's say "MUSE". And I write beautiful songs, I am in my best period, my work is getting better and better and everyone's interested about it..and something happens with Muse, and they stop singing. You know what happens then don't you? You STOP practically composing because you think Muse was everything for your music. The same with photography, poems, LIFE. That's why in photgraphy I don't have just one person who inspires me. Sometimes I just look on google for concepts, sometimes on youtube for professional photographers, and in general on Flickr... but i never had just one single person to inspire me.
That's why try not to put all your inspiration and your concepts in just one thing/person... and try to have your own style and your own personality! Try not to say "he/she was my bigges inspiration and...I can't do it anymore".... that's not good because you do what you do in life because YOU can, and because you have a talent... anyone else... it's just a microscopical part of who we are and what we do.

Tomorrow I primise I will try to write something about school... but I needed to post about this subject and the one from yesterday. It was very important for me.

Today I am going to talk about opinions, about how friends and people in general are in play with our daily or worst..our important decisions in life.
You know yourself better than anyone, and you know what you can do...better than anyone. If X things that you should wear a skirt and not jeans...but you like wearing jeans more -> WEAR JEANS. If you feel comfortable in your own skin..if you like it..doesn't matter if others don't like it. YOU LIVE FOR YOU.
Listen to your heart, to your mind... don't listen what X,Y or Z tells you. Or... just listen to their opinions, listen to yours..think at both in the same time: with consequences and good things, analyse carefully their options but in the end...do what YOU think it's better for you. It's ok listening to others too..maybe they're right but always listen to yourself..and you know why? Cause if something works bad you will out the blame on the other ...and not on you.
And maybe the thing you want to do doesn't makes everyone happy, but makes YOU happy..then do it. Everything that makes you feel happy and ok with yourself, comfortable..it's good. Even if others think you're a bull or a looser and you should do what they say... do just what YOU think it's better.

Just remember that it's YOUR life, YOU're your own master and you take YOUR own decisions in life. Be careful.

Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying "DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE" or... "DRUG YOURSELF" cause this makes you high and happy and idk what bullshit like this..or ride rough-shod over everyone... I'm just trying to make you feel ok with your decisions and trust in you, in what you want and what you do.

Tomorrow I am going to talk about inspiration [my inspiration and inspiration in general...]. See ya tomorrow.

Imi e asa dor...
Imi e dor de jocurile inocente din parc, pe cand aveam doar 5 ani.
Imi e dor sa zambesc doar pentru ca asa simt... fara motiv.
Imi e dor de cantecele pe care le aveam mereu in minte.
Imi e dor sa citesc carti care ma duceau intr-o lume... diferita.
Imi e dor sa vars o lacrima doar pentru ca sunt fericita.
Vreau sa ador, sa zambesc, sa tip, de respir, sa ating doar cu privirea... toti visam la o lume numai a noastra... eu nu am voie?
Imi e dor de mine... de tine... de noi


...

I had an awesome day today[eww that sounds so silly..day today..whatever]. We had sooo much fun...at least I HAD...lol. Very soon we are going to do our fiiirst trip and I know that it will be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
No much to say about today...uh thanks Teo for the mask<3. I took some creepy photos for Flickr haha. You rock girl..well your mask rocks harder but anyway you still rock[no kidding hehe].
Monotony..that word sounds soooo familiar to me, very soon is going to be my first word again. School is this. You do the same shit every and every week FOR 1 YEAR...whatever ..6 7 months. That's horrible huh. School sucks.

Whatever..good luck to the others...cause in a shocking and amazing way [JUST KIDDING LOL] I heard that lot of people read my blog but no one's commenting. Not fair hehe.

*Hugsss*[for...?]

The 3rd time I start this post. First I wrote a shit about friends in general and then something about my old and new friends..but now..words are just..not enough... that's why i want to give a big BIG BIG BIG HUGE HUGE HUG to
Tedy for lending me her shoulder to cry on
Vera
Teo
Gaby
Antonia
Razvan
Claudia
Nicu
Iorgos[is this spelled ok?lol]
and I am sorry if I've missed someone.


They know better why...xoxo.

First week. Finally ended.

Today I had, T.I.C, History, Art, Math, Chemistry, and Latin [ aham..yes we study a dead language because romanian comes from this so it's pretty important to know things about grammar and etc... this doesn't means we know..we just have to know.], so..pretty boring.
I had THE WORST week in my entire life. I am soooooo fucking horrible and terrible stressed ...I'm almost breaking up in pieces..inch by inch. I love my classmates... i love highschool, I love some of the teachers...but this was all of a sudden... it was almost a shock seeing that here, in highschool is a different world. I was educated different...in first place... my formmaster was like my second mother, and now... everything's so fucking ugly... school was almost my second home for 8 year. I loved school, i know it sounds so ugly and so nerdish but... i really loved school and this big change just.. doesn't helps me at all. I miss so fucking much my classmates and I miss being me, cause with them..I can be myself; they know me, i know them...we never were afraid or ashmed of doing things that might look too personal or things you do just home... and words you say just with your best best best friends. I miss them and..

...I want my formmaster, my friends, my schedule, my summer, my lover, my personal time and MY LIFE BACK!!!

Thursday, September 17...

Today: French..what I realised? That my french SUCKS. I am..a mess. Aham aham. Whatever..I don't like french.
I had T.I.C too..is the class about Technology, Information and Communication. Things about computer in general. What we do? Well today was the first class so we did basically... nothing. Oh.. yes I did. I painted a cow in Paint with Gaby. Lol huh♥ .
I had Geography again and I had my first Predictive Test at highschool. Was pretty..idk. Was ok. Excepting the point that i don't remember a shit about Geography from my 5th and 6th grade. That's bad.
Again I had English ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥.
Physics but the teacher never came so..free hour.

So that's almost everything for today... I still have some little problems but soon...I HOPE, everything will be fine.

Oh and..tomorrow..classes with my formmaster. I am...terrified.


P.S and UPDATE: today i got my first highschool-from-calssmate-to-classmate-kiss from Gaby hehe. lol

So...3RD DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL. Awesome? lol. Remember my first day? Horrible...now..awesome. Why? Well till Friday I don't have classes with my formmaster so i am not stressed.
Today i met my Math teacher. He was like...super cool..even if his name sounds very very creeeeeepppyyy in romanian..like i am serious lol "butcher"..that's his name so i was kinda scared..but he's ok.
Also... remember yesterday i told you that is possible to change my Literature teacher..well this happened and my new teacher..ermm she's kinda idk she looks nice but i think she's very bad lol...like not bad but very exigente. And she also told us to do a composition about us..like how I see myself, and she's going to check them. BOO..i wrote lot of shit about me =]].
My English teacher..she's the first one that gave us a homework..actually wasn't a real homework, our first class was about recapitulation an we had some exercises we didn't finish in class and who wanted to finish them home ok, who doesn't...next hour..and how I AM SUCH A NERD[no kiddin'] but i love english so..i did my homework[NNNNEEERRRD DUDUUUUU]
Other classes..hmmmmm Geography!!!!!!! GOSH I AM NOT KIDDING..my geography teacher is a..omg he's awesome. He's so smart...we talked an hour about aliens and the Solar System and about idk..lot of things. I like him!!!
And we had social sciences but the teacher never came so..FREE HOUR!!!

So like...that was all for today. Pretty cool huh?

So...2nd day of school, 1st day of..hmm..like real school. Today I had Music, 2 classes of literature, Biology and...this stupid class of Religion. So like here in Romania, religion is a class at school..you learn things about the history of the religions and etc etc all this bla blas.
1st: my Music teacher ROCKS. She's awesome and she's cute.
2nd: My literature teacher just had a baby so we don't really know if she's going to be our teacher but she's cool too i think. For my first contact with her...i think she's pretty cool.
3rd: the teacher of Biology..well..idk what to say about her. I think she's cool too. She looks very cool and she talks very nice, chill. I have to see her in "action" to have a real opinion about her.
4th: My religion teacher..he's..idk:)). He's ok. I have just one hour/week with him so i don't think i'll have any problems with him. He's ok.

But i still have to meet looooot of teachers and i hope they're all nice like the ones from today.

Funny fact for today: I have a classmate, her name is Tedy and she has longer hair than me. Yes Flickr..can you believe that? lol


See ya tomorrow^_^

First word: FUCK. I hate hishschool. Yeh yeh..yeh...true. I HATE HIGHSCHOOL. I have the worst formmaster in the highschool..bad luck like this..just with me. Gosh he made me cry i am serious. We were counting some books...and i said 25 and not 23..cause i was fuck*ing stressed and nervous ...and he was something like "hmm..someone has problems with math"...and i felt like shit and in an instant i started to cry. HORRIBLE.
But on the other stide...my classmates are suuuuuuppppeeerrr cool.
I am still sooooooo stressed because of what happened... i think this month will be the worst in my life - ever. And I have a very-very-very busy schedule too. I start school at 1 or 2...and i get back at 7 or 6...horrible. Practical, i have just the morning free... but not free at all cause i have to learn. So fuc* my life for now...worst start just can't exist.
Commenting on flickr and then...SLEEP. Bye

So..here we are..less than 12 hours. I am sooooooo freacked out. I almost pee in my pants. I swear. These emotions are killing me, and my mom is not helping at all. She's actually running from my room to the living-room to the bathroom for 2 hours trying to put everything in order... my uniform[I SWEAR ON GOD I AM NOT GOING TO WEAR THAT UNIFORM MORE THAN 1 WEEK], my shoes... why the hell is she doing this?? i'm 15..whatever she's freacking me out with all her "you're a freshman/take care with boys[she loves pissing me off]/study a lot if you wanna go to America/take care with the teachers"...eww. But damn she's right[i hate saying this]...i have to study A LOT in my first year.
I'll miss my sleepless nights, the weekends with Bubu...actually the days when i was doing...nothing. I love being lazy!
So that's it... posting tomorrow with news about my first day.


*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD HELP MEEEEEE*

Starting from September 14 when school begins, I am going to have a mini diary about how being a freshman in highschool is. I want to remember every day of my first year like a bud. I think is going to be fun, is the first time i do this. Actually yes, is the first time I have a real diary. I am going to post every day, in english [this will help me a lot to improve my english] if I have time, internet and inspiration of course, during my first year of school; not in holidays.
So like that's it... i'm not doing this for the blog, for attention or for someone in special..i am doing this for me, cause my first year in highschool is very important for me so ...wish me luck guys!

Tu... suflet scufundat in nisip, inecat in oceanul rece. Tu... nu stii sa iubesti. Esti imatur, egoist. Tu... esti un suflet de copil.

Yey. Cum sunt si eu mai nou boboaca... ma intereseaza si pe mine chestii gen "despre ce trebuie sa vorbesti cand esti la liceu"...gen sunt foarte silly. http://liceeni.net e super tare frate vorba lu ala din reclama:)). Aruncati o privire pe acolo..e super tare.

1 Septembrie. Prea indragostita pentru un inceput de toamna asa trist. Te prea iubesc bai asta...<3. Intelegi tu asta chiar daca nu e in engleza... esti prea inteligent, frumos, dulce, afectuos, tandru, nebun, haios, fabulos si mii de alte adjective de genu'. Sa aveti o toamna frumoasa si un inceput de scoala si mai frumos.