Oh mama...

I've been talking with Teo about the problem with telling the truth to our mothers. She's worried cause she wants to tell her mother she smokes but she's afraid of what she'll say. And I was like..ok so don't tell her..what's so hard saying a little lie? Now I get the point. The relation she has with her mother; for me is something sooo normal, something usual to lie my mother: about ciggs, drinking, boyfriends, school, marks...everything. Practically, al my life, I had a horrible relation with my mother, since I know myself I was afraid of telling her the truth, my ideas, my feelings, when I liked a boy. She'd never knew when I was in love, she never knew the relations I had with my friends. she never knew what's in my soul. And I am used to say that it's not 100% my fault, no. Maybe it's more her fault cause she'd never been interested of knowing about my life, never interested of what I want and how I feel. She never asked me if a boy is cute for me or something like that, and it's not cause I didn't tell her that things...I did.. I told her once that a boy likes me..and she was like "i don't know..." and since then..I don't care anymore about telling my mom the truth. I know... and yes I am abs sure of what I will write..I know better what she needs to know..and what she doesn't need to know.
I don't feel ok with doing this...I don't. It's an horrible feeling lying to your mother, the only person in the world you should put all your trust, and telling everything for her...it's really horrible..but that's life. Not everyone has the luck to have an open-mind mother, and understaning one...
I am not a liar, she's the one who doesn't know to understand me.
Or maybe I'm just a liar...